Smells like sex: The woman’s weapon for fragile masculinity

“Brett’s assault on me drastically altered my life. For a long time, I was too afraid and ashamed to tell anyone these details. I did not want to tell my parents that, I at age, 15, was in a house without any parents present, drinking with boys. I convinced myself that because Brett did not rape me, I should just move on and just pretend that it didn’t happen,” American Professor of Psychology, Dr Christine Blasey Ford.

Perhaps, John Osei Frimpong, MP for Abirem, warned ‘menkind’ about the natural fragility of their masculinity when he reminded Ghana’s Parliament about the names of towns with sexually suggestive names. You would wonder why any group of people will find honour in naming their town ‘Etwe nim nyansa’ which means (The vagina is wise). Literally. Another community had named theirs ‘Kote ye aboa (The penis an animal). The other town, perhaps, had the most sorrowful place name: Whoa ye mobo (testicles are pitiful).

Brett Kavanaugh

We are yet to take a trip to any of these towns to find out how their men put up with the wisdom of their women. They must have found it terrible navigating the dangerous minefield of Etwe nim nyansa to avoid allegations of rape and sexual harassment on a daily basis. I pity the people of ‘Whoa ye mobo’ because they seem to have missed out on all the fun but they are often the most miserable. Men are serving jail terms because they happened to be men when a woman was present. Anything she says is believable.

American Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, was a young teenage boy some 35 years ago when he happened to have encountered a young 15-year-old girl under circumstances normal for any teenager. Today, the young boy is 53 years old and he has done well for himself: he is an attorney and a jurist who serves as the United States Circuit Judge of the Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia. He is President Donald Trump’s nominee for the Supreme Court. The 15-year-old girl hasn’t done badly at all; she is a university professor. She wants to stop Kavanaugh’s elevation to the Supreme Court because she claims he sexually assaulted her 35 years ago.


“Me Too,” other women lined up, leveling accusations of assault against the nominee. Prof Ford has testified in a widely publicised hearing, playing victim and citing instances such as the quote above, to prove that ‘Kote in indeed ye aboa.’ Brett put up a spirited defence to win an 11-10 approval for his candidature. However, a BNI investigation would decide Kavanaugh’s fate. He had come a long way. Out of some 24 candidates selected by the Federalist Society, Brett made the final list of four penciled to replace Anthony Kennedy.

God is good

Feminists and women’s rights advocates hide behind the double jeopardy of being born a woman in a man’s world, to cut themselves a massive slack. They contend that being born a woman is the first jeopardy; because it is a man’s world and women are disadvantaged in ways already predetermined by the social and economic order. The second jeopardy is the visible and invisible discrimination inherent in our patriarchal system. Women need to do more to even up, take their place and claim their rights.


If Kavanaugh were Ghanaian, he would have sailed through effortlessly, with or without oversized skeletons in his wardrobe. 35 years is such a long time. And who will believe her, anyway? What did she go there to do in the first place? Leave it to God, Dr Ford would have been scolded. Rev Dr Amponsah will visit the family to pray with them and bind all the forces of darkness from both the paternal and maternal great-grandparents. She would be admonished: God is good. God is good. God is good. That settles it.


Some unscrupulous male species in our part of the Jordan have got away with a lot of mess. We ticked the okay box for morality and appointed them to high positions in public office. It didn’t matter that they duped people in a foreign land or fathered twins with their neighbour’s wife. The consolation is that the kids will have a privileged life once he becomes a government appointee. Here, Prof Ford’s allegations would be very laughable. A member of Ghana’s Parliament boasted on TV: “I have many girlfriends and my wife knows about all of them.”  Things are pretty good here, aren’t they?


Apostolic sex

Around here, you could administer a charismatic slap on a woman’s bum and be very apostolic about it. At worst, you will get some cynical commentary about it on radio-in relation to similar acts that went unnoticed and unpunished. Morality is what you make of it; anybody could play the integrity umpire depending on their level of influence in society. It happens in our churches, mosques, offices and homes.

Our only problem is agreeing on whether we have relaxed the moral rules more for our women or for men. Like the USA, women here are quick to cry victim even when they played both the protagonist and the villain in their own fall. My friend (a popular and excellent broadcaster cum fashionista) nearly went to jail for an alleged rape in a hotel a few years ago. Even when the lady in the middle decided to discontinue the legal proceedings, the state went ahead to try a conviction. His brand remains stronger even today, but nothing can compensate for the injustice of being framed up.


Recently, he sent me some refreshing news about a lady who had confessed to lying about her rape allegations, just to settle a score. Many men are in jail for such lies, including my other friend in California whose girlfriend filed a rape charge when he decided to end their relationship. He was black and she was white. There was no discussion. His PhD programme ended. He served eight years in jail. Cosby is in there, too. This is how fragile we are. The lips of a woman can puncture our masculinity.


Around here, a pregnant girl is advised and encouraged to sample the most financially promising victim among the lot who may have seen her nakedness at anytime, and ‘prefer’ him as the father of her child. It doesn’t matter how many men she slept with and the volume of orgasms she enjoyed; she decides who she wants to be her baby daddy. Many have misfathered bastards this way. The man can’t play victim.

Kavanaugh is not allowed to play the victim because what he may have done smells like sex. Oh Kote ye aboa. Dr Ford and the other ladies are the honest ones here. (The vagina is always wise).



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