Hundred and one ways to offend your wife




It is most unusual for a wife to be unresponsive to her husband’s sincere love. Let us look at some of the ways that a husband can offend his wife and can contribute to her developing anger, resentment or other negative emotions or behaviour. When a husband recognises that he has offended his wife in any of these ways, he needs to clear it up in order to restore the relationship. Why not ask your wife to check the ones that are true of you?

  1. Ignoring her.
  2. Not valuing her opinion.
  3. Showing more attention to other people than her.
  4. Not listening to her or not understanding what she feels is important.
  5. Closing her out by not talking or listening to her (the silent treatment).
  6. Being easily distracted when she is trying to talk.
  7. Not scheduling special time to be with her.
  8. Not being open to talk about things that you do not understand.
  9. Not being open to talk about things that she does not understand.
  10. Not giving her a chance to voice her opinion on decisions that affect the whole family.
  11. Disciplining her by being angry or silent.
  12. Making jokes about areas of her life.
  13. Making sarcastic statements about her.
  14. Insulting her in front of others.
  15. Coming back with quick retorts.
  16. Giving harsh admonitions.
  17. Using careless words before you think through how they will affect her.
  18. Nagging her in harshness.
  19. Rebuking her before giving her a chance to explain a situation.
  20. Raising your voice at her.
  21. Swearing or using foul language in her presence.
  22. Correcting her in public.
  23. Being tactless when pointing out her weakness or blind spots.
  24. Reminding her angrily that you warned her not to do something.
  25. Having judgmental attitudes.
  26. Pressing her when she is already feeling low or offended.
  27. Lecturing her when she needs to be comforted, encouraged or treated gently.
  28. Breaking promises without any explanation or without being asked to be released from the promise.
  29. Telling her how wonderful other women are and comparing her to other women.
  30. Holding resentment about something she did.
  31. Being disrespectful to her family and relatives.
  32. Coercing her into an argument.
  33. Not praising her for something she did well including what she did for you.
  34. Treating her like a little child.
  35. Being rude to her or to other people in public.
  36. Being unaware of her needs (physical, emotional, financial or spiritual).
  37. Being ungrateful.
  38. Not trusting her.
  39. Not approving of what she does or how she does it.
  40. Not being interested in her personal growth (emotional, spiritual etc.).
  41. Having double standards (doing things you won’t allow her to do).
  42. Not giving her advice when she really needs it and asks for it.
  43. Not telling that you love her.
  44. Having prideful and arrogant attitudes in general.
  45. Not giving daily encouragement.
  46. Failing to spend quality or quantity time with her when you are at a party.
  47. “Talking her down” – continuing to discuss or argue a point just to prove you are right.
  48. Failing to include her in a conversation when you are with other people.
  49. Ignoring her around the house.
  50. Not taking time to listen to what she believes is important as soon as you come home from work.
  51. Ignoring her at social gatherings.
  52. Not attending church as a family.
  53. Showing more excitement for work and other activities than for her.
  54. Being impolite at mealtime.
  55. Having sloppy manners around the house and in front of others.
  56. Not inviting her out on special romantic dates from time to time just the two of you.
  57. Not helping her with the children just before meal time or during times of extra stress.
  58. Not volunteering to help with the dishes occasionally-or with cleaning the house.
  59. Making her feel stupid when she shares an idea about your work or decision that need to be made.
  60. Making her feel unworthy for desiring certain furniture or insurance or other material needs for herself and the family.
  61. Not showing public affection for her, like holding her hands or putting your arm around her.
  62. Not spending quality and quantity time with the children.
  63. Not sharing your life with her, like your ideas or your feelings (eg. What is going on at work).
  64. Not being the spiritual leader at home.
  65. Demanding that she be involved with you sexually when you are not in harmony.
  66. Being unwilling to admit you were wrong.
  67. Resisting whenever she shares one of your “blind spots”.
  68. Being too busy with work and activities.
  69. Not showing compassion and understanding for her and the children when there is real need.
  70. Not planning for the future, making her very insecure.
  71. Being stingy with money, making her feel like she is being paid a salary and not much at all.
  72. Wanting to do things that embarrass her sexually.
  73. Reading sexual magazines in front of her or the children or watching pornography in front of her.
  74. Forcing her to pay electricity bill, water bill etc.
  75. Not letting her lean on your gentleness and strength.
  76. Not allowing her to fail-always feeling like you have to lecture her.
  77. Refusing to let her be a woman.
  78. Criticising her womanly characteristics or sensitivity as being weak.
  79. Spending too much money and getting the family into debt.
  80. Not having a sense of humour and not joking about things together.
  81. Not telling her how important she is to you.
  82. Not sending her special love letters from time to time.
  83. Forgetting special dates like anniversaries and birthdays.
  84. Not defending her if somebody is complaining or criticising her (especially if it is one of your relatives or friends.)
  85. Not putting your arm around her and hugging her when she is in need of comfort.
  86. Not bragging to other people about her.
  87. Being dishonest.
  88. Discouraging her for trying to better herself (either through education or physical fitness).
  89. Continuing harmful habits like coming home drunk.
  90. Not treating her gently and carefully.
  91. Ignoring her relatives who are important to her.
  92. Taking her for granted.
  93. Not including her when planning for future.
  94. Never doing little expected things for her.
  95. Being preoccupied with your own goals and needs.
  96. Not being aware of her physical limitations making her carry heavy objects.
  97. Watching too much TV and neglecting her and the children.
  98. Failing to repair yourself or get a repair man to repair items around the house.
  99. Not taking the time to prepare her to enjoy sexual intimacy.
  100. Not going out shopping with her.
  101. Avoiding family activities and vacations that she and the children enjoy.


By Rose Hansey


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